Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
