She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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