I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
