I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
