you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
