My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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