dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
