I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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