how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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