I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
