We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
