Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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