The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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