Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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