I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
