don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
