So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
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I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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