I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize