Small penises have feelings too.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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