Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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