I cockslap morals
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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