I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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