too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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