I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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