I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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