Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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