Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
