Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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