I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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