How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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