He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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