I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize