Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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