i think my mom watched the whole time
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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