I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's never too late to be topless.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
