Tell her she can't have a vagina
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
