I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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