He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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