i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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