i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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