Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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