how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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