fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?