So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
bring money and cleavage
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.