This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
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As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
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Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar