I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
