I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
