you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
