Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.

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  (847): the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker. http://tfl.nu/4drl
  Replies (13) Good night (1859) Bad night (696)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this

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  (225): shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this http://tfl.nu/x9rq
  Replies (27) Good night (3230) Bad night (494)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on

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  (443): Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on http://tfl.nu/1yum
  Replies (9) Good night (612) Bad night (3441)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches

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  (337): we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches http://tfl.nu/7vm5
  Replies (15) Good night (3863) Bad night (483)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  ...there is blood under my fingernails.

  (515): View more from Iowa

  ...I hope my roomates are okay.

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  (515): ...there is blood under my fingernails. (515): ...I hope my roomates are okay. http://tfl.nu/jgvb
  Replies (7) Good night (934) Bad night (3284)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same

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  (914): i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same http://tfl.nu/tcqj
  Replies (39) Good night (1019) Bad night (5473)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)

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  (303): Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!) http://tfl.nu/z6cg
  Replies (49) Good night (8100) Bad night (1169)
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  (909): View more from California

  he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"

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  (909): he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman" http://tfl.nu/jaxb
  Replies (79) Good night (1474) Bad night (6856)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.

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  (732): I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents. http://tfl.nu/w4fz
  Replies (15) Good night (4930) Bad night (960)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.

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  (585): I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys. http://tfl.nu/354b
  Replies (19) Good night (5372) Bad night (1739)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too

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  (360): I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too http://tfl.nu/ui5h
  Replies (6) Good night (3255) Bad night (1122)
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  (619): View more from California

  Be still, my beating vagina.

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  (619): Be still, my beating vagina. http://tfl.nu/qyal
  Replies (22) Good night (4401) Bad night (1000)
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  (646): View more from New York

  You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door

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  (646): You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door http://tfl.nu/u8he
  Replies (6) Good night (2123) Bad night (769)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.

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  (705): He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment. http://tfl.nu/68lb
  Replies (7) Good night (1929) Bad night (793)
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  (760): View more from California

  You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.

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  (760): You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face. http://tfl.nu/v2nt
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (407)

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