Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.

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  (505): Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear. http://tfl.nu/zxhr
  Replies (45) Good night (595) Bad night (2865) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.

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  (479): I had fun last night. We should have sex less often. http://tfl.nu/07uu
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  (559): View more from California

  She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.

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  (559): She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was. http://tfl.nu/tore
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"

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  (612): I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?" http://tfl.nu/juih
  Replies (11) Good night (5722) Bad night (1345)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing

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  (+31): Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing http://tfl.nu/rk5x
  Replies (7) Good night (4173) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete

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  (408): I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete http://tfl.nu/3qb5
  Replies (9) Good night (2775) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.

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  (904): Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple. http://tfl.nu/t444
  Replies (13) Good night (768) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  do you still have it? i kinda want to see.

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  (518): he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner. (732): do you still have it? i kinda want to see. http://tfl.nu/j8xe
  Replies (4) Good night (1855) Bad night (515)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?

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  (256): It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me? http://tfl.nu/7mmq
  Replies (7) Good night (1148) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.

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  (662): We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings. http://tfl.nu/gskc
  Replies (7) Good night (915) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.

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  (360): So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace. http://tfl.nu/c8hs
  Replies (5) Good night (1130) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  ...and?

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I hate when you're right.

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  (928): YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!? (1-928): ...and? (928): I hate when you're right. http://tfl.nu/4pb8
  Replies (10) Good night (816) Bad night (283)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb

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  (403): I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb http://tfl.nu/fhfr
  Replies (1) Good night (384) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.

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  (415): Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family. http://tfl.nu/k0wh
  Replies (1) Good night (911) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.

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  (309): His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/bv47
  Replies (7) Good night (557) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt

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