you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
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i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
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Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.