Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
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It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
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I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today