When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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