How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
