WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
