She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
