The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
