I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
