I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
