I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
