every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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