They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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