You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
