jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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