You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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