Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
