every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
3 2 1 whiskey
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
