What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
