Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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