My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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